Rantings of a mad Star Wars geek
by RenegadeEclipse93
Summary: A funny look at the SW Universe.  Lots of fun made of the cast.  No language.   What would happen if the power went out on Coruscant? Multiple story arcs intended.
1. Chapter 1

Alright this is my first story. I've been reading for a long time but this is the first time I finally got the nerve up to publish! So please, please, please review! Comment, thumbs up, long winded speech, flames whatever! Just do it!

Okay what would happen if something went wrong and all the strange far out people in the SW universe didn't wake up on the sane side of the bed? Think about.

Rantings of a Mad Star Wars Geek

Part 1 Things go bad when the powers out

Chapter one: Mornings start better when the clocks aren't possessed.

Obi-wan loved caf, infact his friend and former padawan Anakin Skywalker called him a caf addict. Which was ridiculous. So what if they had to detour to a planet three systems away from the planet that they were going to attack because that planet didn't have his favorite brand of caf?

Plus Obi-wan loved mornings, infact he was what some would call an early bird. Or what most called him (including both his former Master and Apprentice) a psychotic nut who had nothing better to do in the mornings than to wake up helpless sleepers and then torture them with his lovely morning spirit.

And there was nothing more that Obi-wan loved than waking,just like he had every morning to ...

Obi-wan raised his face from his pillow sniffing. Something was missing from his morning routine.

But what was missing?

Morning breath? Check.

Bed head? Check.

Folded pile of last nights clothes neatly laying next to todays apparel? Check

Absence of Anakin (he definitely was not a morning person (tried to kill him with a spoon for waking him up early once)) who was most likely not near waking up? Check.

Shoving his head back into his pillow he groped for a reason. Then it hit him.

He shot up in bed and shouted. "THE CAF!

He leaped up of the bed and acrossed the room over to the highly honored machine. How could he have have forgotten? Caf was one of the most important part of the day.

A tradition to be honored at least twenty-two times a day

The beans have to be prepared and water added, then he had to hit the button Anakin installed for years ago saying it was for his own safety. Obi-wan felt for the sacred button, perhaps if he went extremely slow this morning it would be ready in time,but was indented so...

IT MUST BE BROKEN! Obi-wan rushed to the door. He would risk Anakin's fury for this, spoons or no spoons. But as he hit the door panel nothing happened. Growling he smacked it in a flurry motion.

Then suddenly he felt the force tell him to duck. Doing so he had a lightsaber tip go right over his head.

Scowling at his traitorous door he backed away to grab his own lightsaber. If the invader thought that bona-fide sith lords were bad they hadn't seen Obi-wan with out his morning caf!

Then as the saber cut a circle into the entryway. Obi-wan saw that it was three padawans, obliviously trying to get him out. When the path was clear one of them walked and asked. "Master Kenobi are alright?" Obi-wan grunted at him. Unsure of what that meant the boy continued. "A emergency meeting has been called will you need anything before attending?" Obi-wan started to shake his head when a thought hit him. "You wouldn't happen to have some caf would you?" he said hopefully.

The padawan shook his head bewildered. Obi-wan sighed. "Oh well that would have to useful,"

with a shrug he walked out into the hall way saying. "Well at least this day couldn't get any worse."

(Poor Obi-wan he doesn't know that I am the author ***Giggle***)

Ten Minutes later in the High Council room.

It was humorous and bit scary to see twelve of the most powerful beings in the galaxy looking sleep deprived and quite a bit crazy.

A brief summary of them was;

Saesee Tinn looking more grumpy and sullen than usual. Oppo Rancisis was sleeping in his chair, doing the serpent equivalent of snoring. Ki-Adi Mundi looked brain dead and crazy, but when didn't he? (sorry but I mean Dooku a political idealist, really?). Adi Gallia looking fed up about Mace Windu not asking the question and Mace Windu about being pushed to. Obi-wan looked caf deprived. Agen Kolar looked like his face would break into a bazillion pieces if he smiled instead of the regular million. Lucky Shaak Ti and Plo Koon were off planet. And poor Kit Fitso had a knot in his tentacles.  
Then there was Master Yoda. He was doing what seemed to the casual observer a staring contest with an alarm clock. ( the big radio kind (well big at least to him))

Mace seeing that his fellow senior council member mind was obviously otherwise else were, started the meeting. "Now that we all here more or less we need to discuss..."

Ki-Adi Mundi raised his hand. Mace stopped. "Yes."everyone waited for him to talk but he just sat there with his hand raised. Finally right before Mace Windu finally showed some emotion and blew a gasket. Kit looked up from untying his head and said. "He means you cone head."

Ki-Adi stuck his tongue out at him. Adi Gallia wanting to spare her would be fiancé from breaking up another name calling battle between the two intervened. "You were saying Master Mundi?"

He blinked. "What?" she gestured at his arm. He stared out at it as if it was the first time he had ever seen it. They waited for the light bulb to go off. It didn't. "You were saying something." Mace said pointedly. He looked blank the suddenly said. "Isn't it just a lovely day!" Mace had to Force pin Saesee to his chair so he did choke his brain dead college. Agen Kolar grew bored with the sputtering debate and started to see how far he could float Oppo in the air without him waking.

Saesee stares at Windu and starts telepathically begging him to grant him he permission to strangle the idiot councilor.

Mace Wondering while he wasn't getting any help from his co-senior council member. Turned and saw that Master Yoda hadn't blinked in about five minutes. "Master Yoda what is it?" he said vaguely concerned. "Hmm, no longer working anymore it is. Turned to the dark side it has become."

Ki-Adi screamed. "Sith Lord!" and dove face first into his chair. Trying to ignore the idiotic display Adi ask. "What has Master? A knight? A Padawan?" "A politician?" Kit said. Ki-Adi snorted from his cushion. "No silly they're already all working for the dark side, you tentacle brain!" Master Yoda growing tired of the guessing said. "Late for appointments I will be. A portal for darkness it has become." Mace walked up and leaned over Yoda's shoulder. "It's a alarm clock." He said in disbelief.

Ki-Adi screamed again. "Now household appliances are turning what next! The chosen one!"

Agen startled from his concentration by the strange statement, dropped Oppo Rancisis from about 12ft in the air back to his chair. From which he doesn't even wake up. Mace fixes a stern glare at Agen which the Zabrak firmly ignores by staring into space. Obi-wan wakes up enough from his Caf withdraw to mutter about idiot people and their stupid decision that mess with his life. (Meaning now without his instant brain starter is everyone she con tacts.)

Shaak Ti and Plo Koon shared a glance. Yup, they pick a good time to go fight in a pointless battle.

Mace trying to put to see if he can the discussion back on track for once says. "Now is not the time for this, we must now face the matter you were all called here."

Everyone leaned forward waiting for what this grave matter must be.

Yoda looked out from the so-called dark side device and nodded.

"What Skywalkers reaction will be when find out he does about no electricity we have."

Everyone froze. Then as on cue a scream bellowed out from the bowls of the temple and echoed to the other end of the planet. "My stuff doesn't work!"

"We're doomed." Obi-wan muttered.

Chapter two: Hair appointments are kept better when your husband hand works.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay-dokie heres chapter 2in all its glory!

LOL.

Alright.

Kudos to:

Sarah Lutz ()

Shadow's Puppet,

I Like Chocolate Milk,

Blackrose,

Captain Phantom Glass,

crazy4asajj,

HiddenJediLover

for their reviews.

Merci to:

bobbo08,

HiddenJediLover (again)

MaraLSky

redliliy188

StoneBlack

For their Story Alerts.

And triple thank you whammy to Eden Tiberius Eliott for a Review, an Author Alert and for adding my humble story to her Favorite Stories list. Thanks yah.

NO ALL YOU GASPING IN HORROR! I'm not doing a Star Wars/Clone Wars universe mix-up.

I'm just rescuing the poor captain, so give it up and read!

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my books, my laptop, my dog, my drawings and my horses and my insanity. George Lucas owns everything else. Oh, except for my little guardian angel that I inserted into the story. Bet you can't guess who he's based off.

Rantings of a mad Star Wars geek.

Chapter two: What goes on in side those crafty little heads?

**S**chedules in Senator Padme Amidala's opinion were very important. To be kept no matter the cost.

War or no war, senate bombardment by war droids or whatever come what may.

And of course the MOST important thing that her plans must be posted around EVERY DAY.

Was of course, the cornerstone of her life.

Her Hair Appointments.

Yes it was true. The voice of reason in the senate was a slave to her hair.( _Well what do you think her life would be based around? Anakin, come on.)_

She snorted as she looked out her window. Slave, she was as much that to her glorious lock as this city was to its power grids. Even her secret husband the hero with no fear, Anakin Skywalker had been a slave. She rolled her eyes. Hero with no fear, the man was THE biggest whiner and THE biggest baby she had ever met. Alright sure he was a world class hunk. A big war hero and whatever else the tabloids had labeled him to today. But honestly...

Sometimes she thought that maybe she should have thought her marriage through a little more.

Maybe a whole LOT more. Come to think of it she had only known Anakin before they were married for about altogether... two weeks. The whole time of which had been spread over two separate occasions when they had been in dire peril. Sheesh the first time he hadn't even hit puberty and he was hitting on her!

She was broken out of her revelry by her handmaiden... Was it Motee or Elle*? She could remember.

Saying that they needed to leave now if they were going to make it to the Senate by walking.

Padme snorted. Walking, half the Senate wouldn't show. Even if they lived right next to the enormous mushroom of a building. So she would probably have to deal with the overly match making chancellor by herself and the few others that were devoted to the defending of the Republic.

Mean her, Bail Organa from Alderaan, Garn Bel Belis from Corellia, The new appointee from Mon Mothma from Chandrila, and unfortunately for anyone with in hearing distance... Jar Jar.

**T**he planet had fallen under complete darkness, just as the Republic was.

"Well not complete darkness Palpy, the big light bulb in the sky is still shining. Unless you had that big toy of yours shoot it for you. Yah know, that thing is just plan tacky. A big ball of metal with a bunch of little men in white coats running around in it. Going to destroy your home and your fashion sense for you. All for a low cost of your life and your government. Ahh, you got to love politics."

Palpatine jerked around looking for the deranged speaker for the thousandth time to see once again...no one. "Aww, come Palps. You know you can't see me. I'm your conscious, we haven't spoken in a while, how are you?" The sith froze. "Huh?" "Let me answer that for you." Clears throat. "I can't complain. I'm already on the winning side of a war that I single handedly started by myself. Get to wear my dorky man dresses with no one making fun of me. My dream couple scheme is working perfectly.

And I have the galaxy being handed to me on silver platter. I only have one problem in the entire universe." Palpatine had been creeping towards his desk and into his chair when he heard the last bit. He shot up hitting his head on his chair which for some reason curled towards him. "Oww."

He sat back down rubbing his head. Rubbing his sore crown he looked at what he thought was the general direction of the voice. A cackle erupted from another angle. Making Palp jump on top of his desk. "Ahh, that never gets old." The body-less tone said. Palpatine glared around the room at anything that had mass then said. "What do you mean problem."

"Oh, nothing much, just that the little green gremlin is getting wise."

He sat there trying to figure it out and getting no where with it.

So self designated conscious sighed. "He knows. Your little green friend. Still not ringing any bells."

He sighed again. "Yoda knows that your the bad guy who going to kill off his groupies and take over the galaxy while wearing the worst set if dentures in history while looking like a wrinkled old lemon.

"**And with me being the Author," I lean over to my assistant "Cue the door!"**

Then walks in Mace Windu being nagged by his secret girlfriend, Padme having her worst hair day ever, Kit Fitso and Ki-ad Mundi playing slug-trooper, Agen Kolar having his ears talked off by Jar Jar and the rest of the the senators who actually worked. Plus Captain Rex and Commander Cody and an annoyed CSF (Coruscant Security Force) head Jaller Obrim.

Then walked in something that made Supreme Chancellor Palpatine a.k.a. Darth Sidious, dark lord of the sith. Freeze violently, scream, jump out of his ninja crouch off the desk and take off like the madman that he was.

Master Yoda.

Everyone stared at the retreating form, utterly confused.

"Well, Cody said. "Thats not something you see everyday."

Rex rubbed his forehead. "I feel a headache coming on."

End of Chapter!

Tada this chapter is shorter than the first.

And not as funny.

But the 3rd chapter will be out soon.

As to I Like Chocolate Milk request... Eh, why not. I needed a crazy person to scare people with.

I was going to corrupt one of my unfortunate story people but since you offered...

1 quick question since you don't have an account. Do you like Captain Rex or Commander Cody better.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: And now a word from the Temple.**

Dedicated to Gypsie Rose

My cat from the summer of 2005 to January 8, 2011.

R.I.P.

Thank you to: Captain Phantom Glass, I Like Chocolate Milk, Eden Tiberius Eliott, for your reviews.

And a double whammy to HiddenJediLover for both a review and adding me to his/her Favorite Story page!

Plus a triple bravo to JediKnightMonicaUnamious for reviewing, adding my story to her Favorite story list & for adding ME to her Favorite authors list!

Also much gratitude to I Like Chocolate Milk & Eden Tiberius Eliott for helping me with a certain reviewing problem.

Yes, these thank you are way old and all but two of those mentioned probably won't read this, but it's the thought that counts.

_JediMutant93 being thrown out in front of a crowd of angry but wonderful readers._

DON'T SPEAR ME! See, see I have it! _Waves chapter 3 in the air. _ SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! THAT THIS HAS TAKEN SO LONNGGG! _Hands over story to the glorious mob._

I blame it all on being brain dead, having no story ideas and try to write another, err.. Several stories 1st chapter. That and I've had limited typing time. My muses abandoned me!

Then I got a job, school started, life, stuff, etc...

Then I sorta graduated, sold a much loved horse, trained another, helped with a wedding (Defiantly not my own) and acquired professor who like to make me work like a dog at all hours and yeah, ROAMSWG got shelved.

Then to top it all off, The Maker went and ticked me off royally, as it is George and I are just now getting back on speaking terms and only because I won't let myself watch the abomination called _Clone Wars._

But it's finally here.

So... THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! FOR READING!

Also, any similarities between this story and the Episode arc of the Blackout/Power failure are purely accidental. Unless Lucas Art is stealing my ideas, which I doubt thoroughly, for some reason even though I could think of some better plot lines for that TV show blasphemy. Plus I had it first so whatever

Does anyone even read these things anymore? I do, but I read everything, which explains why favorite story section is so big and my "My Stories" is so small. But I posted another story, it's not SW, but its helping me get back in the grove of things.

Disclaimer Time!

Disclaimer: If I owned Star Wars Anakin wouldn't have been such a crybaby, The Mandalorians would have had more screen time, a decent plot and not have been peaceful. But funny and violent as they were first wrote and intended. And defiantly NO JAR JAR!

SO CLEARLY I DON'T!

So on with the very, very late, tardy and pathetic story of mine.

Chapter 3

In the hallowed enclave of the Jedi temple were the soothing halls of the Healers.

Who were generally calm, cool, collected and caring. However this was not the case for now.

Because every single one of them was clearly put out and annoyed by a single demanding and immature Jedi. "What do you mean there are no other batteries in the temple!" An outraged voice rang out. Anyone within hearing distance winced and prepared themselves for another whining/shouting match between their greatest hope against the Sith and who ever he could scream at.

Obi-wan shut his eyes and tried to be patient with his friend as Master healer Vokara Che explained again that his battery had died last night as he was charging when the power went out. Which would be no problem if this were a regular artificial arm. But however with his special modifications he had performed he needed a far more powerful battery which than was usual for robotic limbs.

And. They. Did. Not. Have. One. For the hundredth time.

He really did try. Really.

But when Anakin started to yell about him being the chosen one and having friends in high places again.

Something just... Snapped.

"Enough!" Obi-wan erupted towards, Anakin grabbing him by the throat and shaking him hard.

"We don't care about you being BFF with the chancellor or that your secretly mutually in love with Senator Amidala! There are no batteries that will function for your arm. So put your arm a stinking sling and SHUT IT!"

Everyone froze and watched Anakin's mouth and eyes do their best impression of a Mon Cal while Obi-wan sulked back to his corner. Then as if on cue they all started cheering.

Some random Padawan ran up to Kenobi and said. "Thank you Master." Then Jedi started shaking his hand. Obi-wan blinked all he wanted was for Anakin to shut up about his sob story for once.

After all Anakin still had his Master, had known his Mother and where he was from. Plus _his _love interest was alive! The above-mentioned sat looking shocked. Unsure if he should even open his mouth or not when Captain Rex came in.

"General," He nodded to Kenobi then gave Anakin a strange look. He was never that quiet.

"The Council would like you both to report to Yaama plaza to figure out our next course of action Sirs."

Obi-wan stumbled his way over to Anakin grabbed him by his real arm and dragged him out of the room muttering about if the dark side wanted that wayward ex-Padawan of his they could have him.

Rex gave Master Che a questioning look to which she just shrugged her shoulders to.

Sighing. He followed the two "Heroes of the Republic" looking like they were playing "Crack the Whip" after drinking too much Whyrhen's Reserve. As Kenobi was going through Caf withdrawal it was a miracle that he could walk. Much less tote that whiner baby Skywalker around.

He shook his head. He really need to get off planet and away from those two.

93***~(JM)~***93

(Wow, a sign of how long ago I tried to start this and any ideas on what I should put now?)

_9~R((_ _))E~3_

FYI, STAR WARS, THE CLONE WARS TV SHOW DOES NOT EXISIT IN THIS REALM.

Eh, I'm just gonna think of it as non-canon for sanity reason as I try to reconcile the episode oopsie with the books and movies, without having another continuality fit, which freaks out my poor CaptainPhantomGlass and Eden Tiberius Eillot.

Which is bad, since they are my test subjects. Poor dears.

Sorry if anyone is offended, by me not liking Clone Wars. It's just that I'm Star Wars traditionalist who has spent time, money and sweat studying the lore. So anything that messes with that makes me defensive… and possibly a little rabid.

But that's behind us isn't my lovely Muses… Muses?... Hello? … Drat, they ran away again. Well, I'll update after I capture-er, find them again. Sorry that it's a mini chapter, thought a update no matter how small would be better than no update.  
SEE YAH!


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